My goodness, are moviegoing teenagers annoying.

Where: Capitol 6 in Victoria
When: 6:30pm for the overly talky, overwritten film "P.S. I Love You" (**/****)

So when teenagers arrive late to a busy movie and can't find a seat, what do they do? Why, they sit on the floor of course! Oh, and right next to me. And then, of course, proceed to text on their cell phone, make ignorant and annoying comments throughout and be incredibly oblivious to anything that is occurring on screen.

In the film "P.S. I Love You", we follow the exploits of a woman (Hilary Swank) who has a boyfriend (Gerard Butler) who has a brain tumour and dies, but has written a series of letters to Swank's character pre-death. The death happens off screen and we visit his character through flashbacks which are a part of Hilary Swank's imagination. So the first time this happens, one of the idiot teenagers goes:

"So is like, the guy alive again or something? I don't get it."

The reason this was asked was because they weren't paying attention. They were fiddling around, focusing more on their overpriced popcorn and, oh yeah, sitting on the freaking FLOOR, blocking the aisle for anyone that wanted to get by.

Part of me wanted to do something about this, but since the film was not that good and I didn't feel like picking a fight with teenagers, I instead just watched them out of complete curiosity and wondered if the surrounding crowd would do anything about it. The fact they were sitting IN the aisle (which is illegal as it presents a fire hazard) really added to my curiosity. And the cost for all to get in was nearly $40 plus concessions, and they could sit on the floor at home with a DVD for significantly less than that.

And what did the surrounding moviegoers do? Nothing! A group of three ladies kept shooting them stares thinking that would quiet them down, but nothing happened. There was even a theater check by a staff member about half an hour in, and he did nothing about it.

This reminds me of a book I recently read, "Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler", where the writer went to various cinemas in New York TRYING to anger patrons in the cinema. He talked to himself, he chewed outside food loudly, he even sat directly behind a stranger in an empty cimema. And the patrons did next to nothing to stop him, besides a few requests to quiet down. I know that people by nature wish to avoid conflict, but this is also the reason why a lot of people like to stay home and watch the DVD.

Note: this post is in no way articulating that all teenagers are out of control in cinemas. Your mileage my vary, but this is certainly one of the annoying aspects of moviegoing. Seniors are bad, children are bad, and even those regular adults are awful too. Future articles on the Cinemaphile will be covering all the bases in the hopes that something can be done about it.

Jason

What if a great movie opened in Victoria no one was there to show it?

As noted in my last post, I really want you to venture forth and see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly at the Vic Theater in Victoria. I really do. I want you to put on your shoes, get in your car/bus/taxi and make foot for Nootka Court, the place to view said film.

Which is exactly what a friend and myself intended to do this Saturday afternoon, to get another helping of Julian Schnabel's awesome new picture (we both saw it at the Vancouver Film Festival where it received rave reviews). And just when we arrived at the small art house cinema, we came across a large group of people huddled around the entrance with confused looks on their faces.

No one was there. Lights out, doors locked, as if we all entered on a monday afternoon in March thinking there was a matinee to be found. 1:00pm, the time of the show, came and went with no staff or management anywhere near. What's bizarre is that no staff were on duty to inform customers of what was happening, or even a note on the door explaining what's up. My friend and I even returned for the 3:15 screening to no avail.

I'm leading to believe there was some sort of technical malfunction with the equipment, or they were so short staffed they were unable to open the cinema, but with no explanation taped to the door, it confused and disappointed many people there to see this film. Worse, the Vic lost money today, and these days they seem like a cinema that sorely needs profit.

If you're still planning to see the film, I recommend calling the cinema (250-381-1822) ahead of time to ensure the schedule. And I really hope that you do, because the film is definitely worth the effort to see.

UPDATE: I received an email from a staff member at the Vic informing me that there was a projector malfunction and he had to drive to the Landmark Avalon 8 to get a replacement part. Still, no note or reason on the door still confused a lot of customers, and it looks bad either way.

Download: Diving Bell Trailer